I have a passion for the art of human communication. I believe that if we want to be successful in life then we must be able to get our ideas across to others. As a result I have focused most of my online courses, books, and articles teaching the person who is sending the message how to best deliver their message. Recently though, I’ve begun to think that maybe the issue isn’t so much how we send our message, it’s more that many people have lost the ability to listen and understand what they hear. Reading comprehension, especially on social media also is lacking, but I’ll deal with that later. Now I want to focus on how listening and understanding verbal communication is becoming a lost art.

I have come to think this after spending time on my phone dealing with either customer service people or salespersons, and in the most bizarre of situations when speaking with graduate school or other university recruiters., Recently, I have considered taking some courses to earn different certificates in a few specialized areas. In one case I was considering going for a second master’s degree, another seeking a PhD. I’m a firm believer in life-long education so I keep my eye (and yes I said eye, because I only have one, anyway..) opened for courses or programs that I feel I could benefit from.

So far, so good, I searched the internet for universities that might offer fully remote programs and found several that intrigued me and I found several, so far, so good. Then I made the mistake of contacting them and based on my interaction I began to doubt both the quality of their offerings. Why? I discovered the person on the other end of the conversation usually was reading off a script. Now that in and of itself isn’t really a problem, until I recognized that they weren’t even listening to my answers.

I wanted a program that was 100% online, because I’ve spent my entire career in technology (40+ years) working remotely and being independent. I also earned both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees from Texas Tech University fully online. Here’s how EVERY conversation went:

“ Hi this is so and so from wherever University, I see you’re interested in our Educational Technology Master’s program.”

“Yes I am.”

“OK, good, you understand this program is fully online correct?”

“Yes, that’s why I wanted it, I’ve spent my entire career and I earned both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees through Texas Tech University’s  online programs.”

“OK, and you’re aware that it is both synchronous and asynchronous and uses web-based instruction. Do you think that would be something you’d be comfortable doing?”

After pausing to make sure I heard the other person correctly, and going for a chuckle, “Well sure as long as they both don’t happen at the same time.” Big mistake, long pause on other end.

“OK, so what were you looking to achieve out of this program?”

“I was thinking about the Educational Technology Master’s degree.”

At this point the person usually goes into the spiel about cost and what I’d need to send them and then this:

“Do you already have a bachelor’s degree?”

“Yes”

“So now you want a master’s degree”

“Well I already have one, this would be a second one.”

“Oh, well ok, is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“No I think I’ve got more than enough information. Thank you.”

 All the while I’m thinking to myself, how this poor person has never been taught to listen and process what they are hearing. Instead, they have a script, and they follow it verbatim regardless of previous answers. Now this doesn’t just apply to recruiters, I’ve also experienced it with health insurance call centers, heck, with almost every phone support individual I’ve run into.

I realize that today everything is a numbers game, organizations want to process as many calls and possible sales as they can as quickly as possible. I wonder though if by not teaching their employees how to actively listen, how to truly interact with a caller, they are sacrificing quality for quantity. We really do need to start teaching people how to listen and not just react.

That might even be pertinent for face-to-face communication. Who knows maybe if we try that we’d find ourselves with fewer misunderstandings and more cooperation. But then, I’m a delusional dreamer.